Bloodlust

For whatever reason, I feel the need to include something in this blog about Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Series which has swept the world by storm. It’s astonishing to think that one woman who had a dream one night could turn that dream into a multi-million seller book deal. I’m currently half way through the third of the four books, Eclipse. So far it is possibly my favourite but I have heard that the final instalment; Breaking Dawn, is the pivotal cherry on the top.

But don’t get me wrong, these books although they are quite captivating are by no means literary works of art, far from it…Firstly, Meyer’s style of writing is enjoyable because it is so flippin’ easy to sail through it. These books may be quite heavy but they most certainly are not a heavy read. This is something I can appreciate as somebody who has a very low attention span. Secondly, could somebody get that woman a spell-check? Seriously. Little things like doubled words really pick holes in my involvement in the story (e.g. Edward was was sitting there as as he usually does). Three pages forward I’ll still be thinking about that annoying “was was” mistake. And there are lots more of these tiny flaws throughout. Also, what is it with her fascination with the word “chagrin”? Don’t lie, you noticed it too.

But fear not for I am only one voice and clearly I am outnumbered. A cult-like following has been established with numerous fan-sites and symposiums popping up all over the globe. It feels as though every single female hormonal teenager has been drugged into an Edward Cullen daze phase. I’m going to call them Edward…ians. What will happen to the boys who want to ask these Edwardian chicks out on dates and stuff, they will never be good enough for them, they will never be Edward Cullen. The stakes have been raised and it aint looking pretty for the young male population. Unless they happen to be stunning albino athlete kids whose parents couldn’t afford to pay for braces, they’re pretty much screwed.

I don’t feel like having made it onto the third book within three weeks was any sort of accomplishment. A friend of mine who introduced me to the Twilight dimension had already read the entire series and done a loop up as far as the 3^rd book again on her second round, before I had finished the first. I won’t mention her name for sake of privacy (you know who you are) but well having spent days straight doing nothing but eating sleeping, reading and barely breathing, she got locked into this stuff so bad that she is now on a self-chosen Twilight rehabilitation programme. She has also given up any sort of general Twilight internet surfing and Twilight cast stalking for the 4 weeks of lent, and doing well, so far. It’s a nice break for the rest of us too, not having to endure her frantic and lengthy daily updates on the whereabouts of Rob Pattinson or whether or not Solomon Trimble is going to be cast as Sam in the coming films, or how much flights are to get to their next filming location and become a movie extra. God love her. Just imagine for a moment though, that this is just one person, there are a gazillion million other buzzing little Edwardians throughout the world perched on the edge of their seats as we speak, eagerly anticipating the next Twilight related outlet... their next fix.

It’s a bit like social smoking for me; I’m dancing on enemy lines. Any second now I could get sucked in too. But no such luck yet. Phew! I guess I won’t need to be tattooing the Cullen family crest onto my back any day soon. I’ll let you know if Breaking Dawn breaks me.

Words by Laura McGlynn

Image courtesy of fanpop.com